xpornplease.com pornjk.com porncuze.com porn800.me porn600.me tube300.me tube100.me watchfreepornsex.com

Review: ANGREZI MEDIUM


If Hindi Medium Was Fabulous,
Angrezi Medium Is Opposite.

1.5 stars

Mini Review:

Call me stingy but when filmmakers do really stupid things like write the movie wearing blinders whilst under a rock and get carried away on fame earned by their earlier film, then it’s tough to give them a pass (gradewise and otherwise). This film has a great cast, some ‘dil ko touch kar gaye’ scenes but the rest are like vomit emoji. Many times over. 

Main Review:

Half a star for the awesome motichoor laddu placed on our seats at the screening of the film. Despite my fears about the corona virus, I picked up the box from the seat and licked my fingers after eating. Delicious.

One Star For The Feel Good Moments. 

So we realise that Ghasitaram is a name many mithai shops use and they’re all related to one another. They’re fighting to use the name and they take one another to court. What’s fun is that they go to court in a bus together. Because, family.

That itself is a great idea, and the court scene is funny where the court proceedings are derailed because they start discussing daru and chakhna instead. But that’s one scene.

The other best part of the movie is this fabulous trio of Irrfan Khan who plays Champak Bansal, Deepak Dobriyal is Gopi Bansal and Kiku Sharda as Gajju Bansal. Three men who are not just related to one another but are friends who get drunk on the terrace at night. Their conversation is so good you are immediately endeared to the characters (that weird laugh Deepak Dobriyal indulges in is forgiven)

Everyone is going to tell you how heartwarming Irrfan Khan is with his daughter Radhika Madan. One scene where she comes home drunk and accuses her dad is wonderful. After that, her insane need to study in England is a ‘bachpan mein maara hota toh yeh din na dekhne padte!’ moment. 

There is also a moment where Irrfan Khan looks pensive at the window in London, worried about how he’s going to get his daughter admitted to college, which is as good as the scene in Nil Bate Sannata where Chanda (Swara Bhaskar) wonders about how she’s going to get her daughter to study…

Dimple Kapadia is still stunning. Still amazing. 

13 Reasons Why All Good Scenes Stand Cancelled.

1. The film releases on Friday the 13th. So bad writing gets blamed on the bad luck date.

2. Corona virus ke kaaran people didn’t come to the theaters, warna hit thee boss.

3. Whoever wrote the English parts given to white people has never spoke to a white person. They don’t ‘maite’, ‘eh?!’ and ‘lad’ in every sentence. Not even during cricket commentary.

4. Died laughing when London airport, immigration, police were all ‘white’. Why sacrifice the movie for cheap comedy? Kaun hain yeh log? There are brown people everywhere, even the Mayor of London is Sadiq Khan. 

5. British cops who mistake achaar for drugs? Seriously?! In 2020, their drug sniffing dogs might ask for mathri when they sniff out achaar. 

6. Irrfan Khan speaks English with a tourist in Udaipur. Broken English, but English. All of a sudden upon landing in London he is unable to speak a word of the language. But he knows how to use Google Translate which helpfully translates ‘Dawa’ into ‘Drugs’. Try it. It clearly says ‘Medicine’. So they sacrifice everything for a cheap joke. Of course when he says he’s going to make drugs, the all white, all brainless policemen arrest him after overacting their alarm. 

7. We see NO Indian person in London except the boy who picks up Radhika Madan at the airport. And she’s so stupid, she doesn’t make any effort to find where her uncle and dad are. If you ever go to London, there are helpful signs everywhere. And the boy who picks her up also just whisks her away. 

8. So Radhika Madan has managed to contact a frat house Indian, without actually having a provisional admission… And they’re all very happy to share their alcohol. Uh-uh! If you have studied at any college in London, then NO ONE shares alcohol so freely. They all bring their own booze. The frat house hilarity is very American. Thoda konfujiyaa gaye hain… If you google ‘what do students in Britain drink?’, the answer will be beer followed by wine. 

9. So the principal in an Udaipur school tears up the admission letter. Erm… It’s 2020, those acceptance letters are all online now. So the whole nonsense they go through to get admission is a waste. There could have been comedy in trying to forge a letter from the university, where Irfan and Deepak try to reach hackers in some biddy’s basement… Sigh. 

10. The boy who rescues Radhika Madan has a dad who is a politician, but he works so he’s not a burden on his dad. Doting daughter doesn’t try to locate her dad via her friend’s politician dad? That would have been comedy too… But the country where no one figured out that the two gents did not speak English and deported them has an Indian person who is a politician? 

11. Please Pankaj Tripathi, I used to be a fan. Have said that he cannot do a thing wrong. But after seeing him ham away at his role, trying hard to be funny was like someone stabbing me with the butter knife. Pankaj Tripathi starts speaking like, ‘Main batatee hoon’ (as if he were confusing gender) but then he forgets that in trying to be funny. I thought he’s be extending his hand and painting his nails too… They just didn’t think of it, no?

12. Why is Ranvir Shorey made to dress as if he had flown down from the West Indies instead of cold England. And his family is dressed like Goan Aunties straw hats and all… No wonder Meghan Markle chose to leave England and move to Canada.

13. The auction is as sham as it can get. But that Bappi Lahiri crack? Fizzzzzzled out. Who’s your audience? Busta Rhymes is what most young people understand. And the hawala money exchanging hands is not even original…

Friday The Thirteenth or no, this movie just bombed. Even though the father-daughter equation could have been ‘aww’ inducing, these ghastly mistakes would have made Citizen Khan cringe too. Watch Hindi Medium on one of the streaming services. It had a heart. This one just makes you wince.  





P.S. If you are a fan of Irrfan Khan then go to Netflix and watch him in Tokyo Trial.







              


Review: ANGREZI MEDIUM


If Hindi Medium Was Fabulous,
Angrezi Medium Is Opposite.

1.5 stars

Mini Review:

Call me stingy but when filmmakers do really stupid things like write the movie wearing blinders whilst under a rock and get carried away on fame earned by their earlier film, then it’s tough to give them a pass (gradewise and otherwise). This film has a great cast, some ‘dil ko touch kar gaye’ scenes but the rest are like vomit emoji. Many times over. 

Main Review:

Half a star for the awesome motichoor laddu placed on our seats at the screening of the film. Despite my fears about the corona virus, I picked up the box from the seat and licked my fingers after eating. Delicious.

One Star For The Feel Good Moments. 

So we realise that Ghasitaram is a name many mithai shops use and they’re all related to one another. They’re fighting to use the name and they take one another to court. What’s fun is that they go to court in a bus together. Because, family.

That itself is a great idea, and the court scene is funny where the court proceedings are derailed because they start discussing daru and chakhna instead. But that’s one scene.

The other best part of the movie is this fabulous trio of Irrfan Khan who plays Champak Bansal, Deepak Dobriyal is Gopi Bansal and Kiku Sharda as Gajju Bansal. Three men who are not just related to one another but are friends who get drunk on the terrace at night. Their conversation is so good you are immediately endeared to the characters (that weird laugh Deepak Dobriyal indulges in is forgiven)

Everyone is going to tell you how heartwarming Irrfan Khan is with his daughter Radhika Madan. One scene where she comes home drunk and accuses her dad is wonderful. After that, her insane need to study in England is a ‘bachpan mein maara hota toh yeh din na dekhne padte!’ moment. 

There is also a moment where Irrfan Khan looks pensive at the window in London, worried about how he’s going to get his daughter admitted to college, which is as good as the scene in Nil Bate Sannata where Chanda (Swara Bhaskar) wonders about how she’s going to get her daughter to study…

Dimple Kapadia is still stunning. Still amazing. 

13 Reasons Why All Good Scenes Stand Cancelled.

1. The film releases on Friday the 13th. So bad writing gets blamed on the bad luck date.

2. Corona virus ke kaaran people didn’t come to the theaters, warna hit thee boss.

3. Whoever wrote the English parts given to white people has never spoke to a white person. They don’t ‘maite’, ‘eh?!’ and ‘lad’ in every sentence. Not even during cricket commentary.

4. Died laughing when London airport, immigration, police were all ‘white’. Why sacrifice the movie for cheap comedy? Kaun hain yeh log? There are brown people everywhere, even the Mayor of London is Sadiq Khan. 

5. British cops who mistake achaar for drugs? Seriously?! In 2020, their drug sniffing dogs might ask for mathri when they sniff out achaar. 

6. Irrfan Khan speaks English with a tourist in Udaipur. Broken English, but English. All of a sudden upon landing in London he is unable to speak a word of the language. But he knows how to use Google Translate which helpfully translates ‘Dawa’ into ‘Drugs’. Try it. It clearly says ‘Medicine’. So they sacrifice everything for a cheap joke. Of course when he says he’s going to make drugs, the all white, all brainless policemen arrest him after overacting their alarm. 

7. We see NO Indian person in London except the boy who picks up Radhika Madan at the airport. And she’s so stupid, she doesn’t make any effort to find where her uncle and dad are. If you ever go to London, there are helpful signs everywhere. And the boy who picks her up also just whisks her away. 

8. So Radhika Madan has managed to contact a frat house Indian, without actually having a provisional admission… And they’re all very happy to share their alcohol. Uh-uh! If you have studied at any college in London, then NO ONE shares alcohol so freely. They all bring their own booze. The frat house hilarity is very American. Thoda konfujiyaa gaye hain… If you google ‘what do students in Britain drink?’, the answer will be beer followed by wine. 

9. So the principal in an Udaipur school tears up the admission letter. Erm… It’s 2020, those acceptance letters are all online now. So the whole nonsense they go through to get admission is a waste. There could have been comedy in trying to forge a letter from the university, where Irfan and Deepak try to reach hackers in some biddy’s basement… Sigh. 

10. The boy who rescues Radhika Madan has a dad who is a politician, but he works so he’s not a burden on his dad. Doting daughter doesn’t try to locate her dad via her friend’s politician dad? That would have been comedy too… But the country where no one figured out that the two gents did not speak English and deported them has an Indian person who is a politician? 

11. Please Pankaj Tripathi, I used to be a fan. Have said that he cannot do a thing wrong. But after seeing him ham away at his role, trying hard to be funny was like someone stabbing me with the butter knife. Pankaj Tripathi starts speaking like, ‘Main batatee hoon’ (as if he were confusing gender) but then he forgets that in trying to be funny. I thought he’s be extending his hand and painting his nails too… They just didn’t think of it, no?

12. Why is Ranvir Shorey made to dress as if he had flown down from the West Indies instead of cold England. And his family is dressed like Goan Aunties straw hats and all… No wonder Meghan Markle chose to leave England and move to Canada.

13. The auction is as sham as it can get. But that Bappi Lahiri crack? Fizzzzzzled out. Who’s your audience? Busta Rhymes is what most young people understand. And the hawala money exchanging hands is not even original…

Friday The Thirteenth or no, this movie just bombed. Even though the father-daughter equation could have been ‘aww’ inducing, these ghastly mistakes would have made Citizen Khan cringe too. Watch Hindi Medium on one of the streaming services. It had a heart. This one just makes you wince.  





P.S. If you are a fan of Irrfan Khan then go to Netflix and watch him in Tokyo Trial.







              


Review: BAAGHI 3


Bollywood throwback story that’s as senseless as the action!


1 star

Mini Review:

Bollywood brothers have always been like Ram Aur Shyam. One weak and the other strong. Bollywood police dad dies making strong brother promise he’ll take care of weak brother. They’re not twins though. And only in Bollywood do weak brothers show up in Inspector ka uniform and strong brother shadow boxes for him. What follows is so deafening, you cannot fall asleep, and if you follow the story, your brain dies. Slowly. Over 143 minutes.

Main Review:

Yeh Heera Hai, Heera!

Jackie Shroff is Bollywood dad who is rough on younger son because he knows ‘yeh ladka heera hai heera’ (but they did not pay the dialogue guy enough to write the obvious stuff because they spent money on gaalis for heroine that make no sense, and some forgettable supposedly funny lines and names for cops: whatever happened to hum angrez ke zamane ke jailor hain? But I get ahead of myself) 

So heera beta is younger Tiger Shroff who beats up anyone who beats his older softer brother who is a crybaby. It’s Riteish Deshmukh! Before you say what the what happened to Mauli? He had a double role there? What happened to Ram Aur Shyam? Even there Dilip Kumar had a double role… Oh! Tiger Shroff can never play weaker brother! He will have to wear clothes for that…And what normal clothes can fit around those muscles?!

So Riteish bhai is made to cry at the movies in this movie, and when he bumps into baddies with creative forgettable name and get hit, he yells for RONNNNNNNIE!

Tiger who goes by the name Ronnie shows up, beats up the bad guys (I can imagine movie theater sending bills for all that stuff destroyed…) and saves his bhai. 

When the ex policeman (served with their dad) chachaji asks Tiger to become cop in place of dead daddy (died saving innocents during a riot), Tiger gets a great idea, ‘Let crybaby bade bhaiyya become cop, I will shadow him and beat up baddies for him.’ 

India Me Baddies Kam Hai, Foreign Jaao!

For some reason baddies are kidnapping families from India, flying them to Syria, separating them by having men wear bomb vests and blowing themselves up. No one tells us what the big bad baddy called Abu Jalal (the guy from Fauda, Jameel Khoury) does with leftover families.

The moment the henchman for the big bad baddy says, ‘Boss knows 44 languages!’, I imagined him at the United Nations instead of some fake ‘kingdom within Syria’.

I blame Netflix for these Arabic baddies are spouting these days. How can you read when your brain cells have died with this mind numbing story? Why are they ruining Jaideep Ahlawat and Vijay Verma by turning them into good guys so quickly? Had I been Jaideep Ahlawat, starving alone on the street, I would still refuse to play a bad guy called IPL. Perhaps that’s why he chooses to step on a land mine and die! 

Tiger is made to fight with randomly parked train engines in a factory, stacked cars at a dump, SUVs in fake Syria, and dude fights atop helicopters, bringing Black Hawks down. Body count? Syria aise hee khaali hua hai kya? Lots of action sequences later (like Salman Khan his shirt catches fire and Tiger Shroff rips off the shreds to show us his shredded body). Shraddha Kapoor ne diya rag remains intact though.

Why Shraddha Kapoor gives him a rag as a keepsake, no one knows. Perhaps no one even know what she’s doing in the movie. There is no place for women in such films. Even Disha Patani who is made to dance looks bored as an item girl…

In the big fight with the big bad guy, Tiger gets stabbed and dies. 

Phew! No Baaghi 4 then! 

Spoke too soon! Darpoke brother is suddenly enraged and kills remaining bad guys – with a perfectly handy brick – including the big bad guy. But hero kabhi marta hai kya?  

Dammit! Riteish will be his older brother in the next film called ‘Do Baaghi 4’ or something equally ghastly.

Marna Chaahiye… That dialog is boring now…

Tiger delivers his standard Heropanti lines ‘meri jaati nahi’, ‘bhai bulata hai toh phod deta hoon’ as if he were disinterested. Thankfully his action sequences (you get the feeling you have seen them before) are rather cool. 

 I was quite uncomfortable stepping into a public place that could give free rein to the deadly virus. But after surviving this film, I am sure India will survive the Corona Virus too. 

Truly, Baaghi 3 is a cure for the Corona Virus


P.S. Ground clearance on tanks is 19 inches. how thin is this lad?


  

Review: BAAGHI 3


Bollywood throwback story that’s as senseless as the action!


1 star

Mini Review:

Bollywood brothers have always been like Ram Aur Shyam. One weak and the other strong. Bollywood police dad dies making strong brother promise he’ll take care of weak brother. They’re not twins though. And only in Bollywood do weak brothers show up in Inspector ka uniform and strong brother shadow boxes for him. What follows is so deafening, you cannot fall asleep, and if you follow the story, your brain dies. Slowly. Over 143 minutes.

Main Review:

Yeh Heera Hai, Heera!

Jackie Shroff is Bollywood dad who is rough on younger son because he knows ‘yeh ladka heera hai heera’ (but they did not pay the dialogue guy enough to write the obvious stuff because they spent money on gaalis for heroine that make no sense, and some forgettable supposedly funny lines and names for cops: whatever happened to hum angrez ke zamane ke jailor hain? But I get ahead of myself) 

So heera beta is younger Tiger Shroff who beats up anyone who beats his older softer brother who is a crybaby. It’s Riteish Deshmukh! Before you say what the what happened to Mauli? He had a double role there? What happened to Ram Aur Shyam? Even there Dilip Kumar had a double role… Oh! Tiger Shroff can never play weaker brother! He will have to wear clothes for that…And what normal clothes can fit around those muscles?!

So Riteish bhai is made to cry at the movies in this movie, and when he bumps into baddies with creative forgettable name and get hit, he yells for RONNNNNNNIE!

Tiger who goes by the name Ronnie shows up, beats up the bad guys (I can imagine movie theater sending bills for all that stuff destroyed…) and saves his bhai. 

When the ex policeman (served with their dad) chachaji asks Tiger to become cop in place of dead daddy (died saving innocents during a riot), Tiger gets a great idea, ‘Let crybaby bade bhaiyya become cop, I will shadow him and beat up baddies for him.’ 

India Me Baddies Kam Hai, Foreign Jaao!

For some reason baddies are kidnapping families from India, flying them to Syria, separating them by having men wear bomb vests and blowing themselves up. No one tells us what the big bad baddy called Abu Jalal (the guy from Fauda, Jameel Khoury) does with leftover families.

The moment the henchman for the big bad baddy says, ‘Boss knows 44 languages!’, I imagined him at the United Nations instead of some fake ‘kingdom within Syria’.

I blame Netflix for these Arabic baddies are spouting these days. How can you read when your brain cells have died with this mind numbing story? Why are they ruining Jaideep Ahlawat and Vijay Verma by turning them into good guys so quickly? Had I been Jaideep Ahlawat, starving alone on the street, I would still refuse to play a bad guy called IPL. Perhaps that’s why he chooses to step on a land mine and die! 

Tiger is made to fight with randomly parked train engines in a factory, stacked cars at a dump, SUVs in fake Syria, and dude fights atop helicopters, bringing Black Hawks down. Body count? Syria aise hee khaali hua hai kya? Lots of action sequences later (like Salman Khan his shirt catches fire and Tiger Shroff rips off the shreds to show us his shredded body). Shraddha Kapoor ne diya rag remains intact though.

Why Shraddha Kapoor gives him a rag as a keepsake, no one knows. Perhaps no one even know what she’s doing in the movie. There is no place for women in such films. Even Disha Patani who is made to dance looks bored as an item girl…

In the big fight with the big bad guy, Tiger gets stabbed and dies. 

Phew! No Baaghi 4 then! 

Spoke too soon! Darpoke brother is suddenly enraged and kills remaining bad guys – with a perfectly handy brick – including the big bad guy. But hero kabhi marta hai kya?  

Dammit! Riteish will be his older brother in the next film called ‘Do Baaghi 4’ or something equally ghastly.

Marna Chaahiye… That dialog is boring now…

Tiger delivers his standard Heropanti lines ‘meri jaati nahi’, ‘bhai bulata hai toh phod deta hoon’ as if he were disinterested. Thankfully his action sequences (you get the feeling you have seen them before) are rather cool. 

 I was quite uncomfortable stepping into a public place that could give free rein to the deadly virus. But after surviving this film, I am sure India will survive the Corona Virus too. 

Truly, Baaghi 3 is a cure for the Corona Virus


P.S. Ground clearance on tanks is 19 inches. how thin is this lad?


  

Review: THAPPAD

A Slap Is A Big Deal! 


2 stars

Mini Review:

The movie should come with trigger warning for women who are suffering all kinds of abuse, physical as well as emotional abuse. Even though it tapers down to a tame end, this film raises many important question: how much abuse is too much abuse? Tapsee Pannu makes another great choice, supported brilliantly by the rest of the cast. If only a woman had written the ending…

Main Review:

This is the story of a housewife who leads a very comfortable life, is looking to move to London, loves her husband and mother in law, loved by parents as well. Her life comes undone when at a party her husband slaps her in a fit of anger. It is uncharacteristic for him as well as it is for her. How he reacts and how everyone else around this happy household reacts is stunning to her because she realises with that one slap, that she’s no better than the maid who gets slapped by her husband every day.

She chooses to step out of her comfort zone and everything comes unraveled. Only her father offers her unflinching support. Everyone else tells her, ‘It’s just a slap.’

I will let you watch the film because you will find yourself taking sides with so many people in the film:
‘What’s the big deal?’
‘People slap only because they love so much.’
‘He bought her a diamond bracelet afterwards na to say sorry! Phir bhi problem hai!’
‘I was angry! But you should have not tried to pull me away.’
‘Women need to learn to compromise.’
‘You be the big person, you learn to forgive.’

Superb performances by Kumud Mishra who is fabulous as the thoughtful and kind father, Ratna Pathak Shah as the conflicted mother, but the best performance (even better than Tapsee Pannu, in my humble opinion) is the performance by Geetika Vaidya who plays the maid. 

The maid is a brilliant foil to her memsaab. She’s sassy, but gets slapped around all the time. She is kind and sensitive (her, ‘Can I oil your head’ made me weep in the darkness of the theater), and as she watches the memsaab go through a tough choice in her life, is transformed to a person who can stand up for herself. The character has been written brilliantly.

The lawyer’s character (played by Maya Sarao) seems rather good. A woman who has a man friend on the side because she’s in a crappy marriage where she gets no credit as a professional also tapers off tamely when she says goodbye to her young friend.  

The only thing that made me grit my teeth is the really easy way out of a problem called Taapsee is to get her pregnant. 

The last melodramatic scene of the puja for the child and her gently telling her mother in law that she was mad at everyone for not ‘taking her side’ in that long give-me-an-award speech is just written because they did not find any real conclusion for the ‘problem’ … This is where I would suggest the filmmakers ASK a women, several women for that matter as to what they would do. 

So after taking me on a high with this slap on patriarchy, they reduce the woman who makes that dent into the system into becoming a ‘mother’.

It was as lame a conclusion as the fake ‘woke’ opening credits where everyone put their mother’s names as their middle names. Bah!



P.S: No point writing about the men’s roles played competently because those are ordinary everyday men in real life. Anyone can play them. 



  

Review: THAPPAD

A Slap Is A Big Deal! 


2 stars

Mini Review:

The movie should come with trigger warning for women who are suffering all kinds of abuse, physical as well as emotional abuse. Even though it tapers down to a tame end, this film raises many important question: how much abuse is too much abuse? Tapsee Pannu makes another great choice, supported brilliantly by the rest of the cast. If only a woman had written the ending…

Main Review:

This is the story of a housewife who leads a very comfortable life, is looking to move to London, loves her husband and mother in law, loved by parents as well. Her life comes undone when at a party her husband slaps her in a fit of anger. It is uncharacteristic for him as well as it is for her. How he reacts and how everyone else around this happy household reacts is stunning to her because she realises with that one slap, that she’s no better than the maid who gets slapped by her husband every day.

She chooses to step out of her comfort zone and everything comes unraveled. Only her father offers her unflinching support. Everyone else tells her, ‘It’s just a slap.’

I will let you watch the film because you will find yourself taking sides with so many people in the film:
‘What’s the big deal?’
‘People slap only because they love so much.’
‘He bought her a diamond bracelet afterwards na to say sorry! Phir bhi problem hai!’
‘I was angry! But you should have not tried to pull me away.’
‘Women need to learn to compromise.’
‘You be the big person, you learn to forgive.’

Superb performances by Kumud Mishra who is fabulous as the thoughtful and kind father, Ratna Pathak Shah as the conflicted mother, but the best performance (even better than Tapsee Pannu, in my humble opinion) is the performance by Geetika Vaidya who plays the maid. 

The maid is a brilliant foil to her memsaab. She’s sassy, but gets slapped around all the time. She is kind and sensitive (her, ‘Can I oil your head’ made me weep in the darkness of the theater), and as she watches the memsaab go through a tough choice in her life, is transformed to a person who can stand up for herself. The character has been written brilliantly.

The lawyer’s character (played by Maya Sarao) seems rather good. A woman who has a man friend on the side because she’s in a crappy marriage where she gets no credit as a professional also tapers off tamely when she says goodbye to her young friend.  

The only thing that made me grit my teeth is the really easy way out of a problem called Taapsee is to get her pregnant. 

The last melodramatic scene of the puja for the child and her gently telling her mother in law that she was mad at everyone for not ‘taking her side’ in that long give-me-an-award speech is just written because they did not find any real conclusion for the ‘problem’ … This is where I would suggest the filmmakers ASK a women, several women for that matter as to what they would do. 

So after taking me on a high with this slap on patriarchy, they reduce the woman who makes that dent into the system into becoming a ‘mother’.

It was as lame a conclusion as the fake ‘woke’ opening credits where everyone put their mother’s names as their middle names. Bah!



P.S: No point writing about the men’s roles played competently because those are ordinary everyday men in real life. Anyone can play them. 



  

Review: SHUBH MANGAL JYADA SAVDHAN


Hyper, Overactive, Dramatic Gay Bois Meet Even More Melodramatic ‘Bollywood’ Small Town Family. A Very Gaudy Fare.

0.5 stars

Mini Review:

Two lads in love go to a small town for a sister’s wedding and end up telling the family they are gay. The family hyperventilates and hyperventilates until your head hurts and in the end the ‘over my dead body’ dad who never really says over my dead body, comes around. Bollywood small town is loud and everyone tries hard to be funny all the time and you come away with a headache, and eyes burned by all the garishness.

Main Review:

Kartik and Aman Tripathi. What a Horrible Pair.

Ayushmann Khurana plays Kartik, a nose ring wearing gay lad who is partners with Aman Tripathi played by Jitendra Kumar and the film opens with both of them wearing toothpaste superman outfits, selling toothpaste at a mall. 

From the mall they go off to help a girl run away from home. She gives them a lakh rupees, but because they bungle she runs away with their motorbike.

Is this their job? Bhumi Pednekar in that small cameo seems quite capable of running away on her own, no? Especially because she knows exactly how long her dad is going to sit glued to the TV, watching KBC. 

Why are they trying to be clever, you wonder. And you are not enamored of protagonists who say they want to help lovers unite but take money for it, and also bungle the whole operation. 

Hmm. But Ayushmann Khurana leaning on Jitendra Kumar on the motorbike is cute. 

Woah! Kartik throws a tantrum wanting to attend Aman’s sister’s wedding. Aman gives in because they sleep on a train then run (still in the toothpaste superman suits) to the train to Allahabad. Do they not have a home? What happened to the mobike bhumi pednekar appropriated?

Such a horrible pair, they are shown bickering all through the movie. There are angry glares, but no looking longingly at the person you love, nothing redeeming about their love. They even discuss how Aman is ‘not wholly in’ the kiss or whatever… 

Why should the audience care what happens to these two?

Sonam Kapoor – whom everyone disses for being unable to act because she’s a pretty face – did a hundred per cent better job in her ‘coming out’ film Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga… You liked both the girls in the film, their relationship and hated Rajkummar Rao for outing them in public the way he does in the film…

Bollywood Small Town Is Nuts

There will be Mother and Father and chacha and chachi and neighbours and one annoying relative (possibly old grandma who coughs, or a dead grandpa, and in this film, a lad with an ipad).

The gas in the kitchen will always have tea boiling away and people will drink tea.

If they eat, god forbid they should have manners. Everyone will eat as if food was meant to be eaten noisily. And there will be Jalebi.

And to annoy the intelligent audience and to get laughter from the cheap seats, there will be the ghastly burp after eating.

Bodily functions like pooping and peeing will be shown generously. And the bathing with buckets. I try to not puke into my neighbor’s popcorn when i see toothbrushes in mouths. 

Such a horrid surprise to see Neena Gupta and Gajraj Rao play full on Nautanki parents. Manu Rishi and Sunita Rajwar who play Chacha and Chachi are less OTT. (The half star for this film is shared by the two.) 

Maanvi Gagroo is a relief because she really looks like she’s having fun. But they should have given her gold lines goggles for the wedding, no?

And the scene where Gajraj Rao pretends to kill himself: Neena Gupta should have given any one of the sarees in the cupboard in the room instead of taking off the ‘new shaadi ki saree’ no?

When men write these supposedly funny scenes, they forget to put themselves in a woman’s place! Neena Gupta would have given him the sheet on the bed to make a noose instead, no?

Ghanta Promoting A Gay Narrative

Maaf karo! If this is how you want to help the gay cause, I am sure the community might not want it. 

First Bollywood need to get over the fact that gay men DO NOT LOOK LIKE BOLLYWOOD’S IDEA of gay men. They don’t always have floppy wrists, neither do they wear nose rings.

And members of the LGBTQ+ community DO NOT WANDER ABOUT WITH A RAINBOW FLAG EVERYWHERE THEY TRAVEL. 

I am sure gay men do not feel the need to be overly demonstrative (read ‘act despo’) all the time. If nothing, Netflix has a teenage show that deals with gay kids in a smarter way than this film does. The show is called Sex Education’ and it deals with teens with hormones. 

It’s a lame excuse to say this movie is pathbreaking because it is challenging/breaking the patriarchal system. Patriarchy is like Sairat. It uses guns. 

Even the lame Sooryavamsham got patriarchy right. Here Gajraj Rao just comes across as sham, not once talking about his vansh…

The film promotions said that the writer-director wrote the script for over a year. The audience could have waited longer for him to get this script right. 




P.S. When people start selling you the film as if it was going to do ‘uddhar’ of a community that didn’t have a voice so far, I’m sure the people from the LGBTQ+ community would rather wait for real tales than this gaudy, loud movie.

   







     

Review: SHUBH MANGAL JYADA SAVDHAN


Hyper, Overactive, Dramatic Gay Bois Meet Even More Melodramatic ‘Bollywood’ Small Town Family. A Very Gaudy Fare.

0.5 stars

Mini Review:

Two lads in love go to a small town for a sister’s wedding and end up telling the family they are gay. The family hyperventilates and hyperventilates until your head hurts and in the end the ‘over my dead body’ dad who never really says over my dead body, comes around. Bollywood small town is loud and everyone tries hard to be funny all the time and you come away with a headache, and eyes burned by all the garishness.

Main Review:

Kartik and Aman Tripathi. What a Horrible Pair.

Ayushmann Khurana plays Kartik, a nose ring wearing gay lad who is partners with Aman Tripathi played by Jitendra Kumar and the film opens with both of them wearing toothpaste superman outfits, selling toothpaste at a mall. 

From the mall they go off to help a girl run away from home. She gives them a lakh rupees, but because they bungle she runs away with their motorbike.

Is this their job? Bhumi Pednekar in that small cameo seems quite capable of running away on her own, no? Especially because she knows exactly how long her dad is going to sit glued to the TV, watching KBC. 

Why are they trying to be clever, you wonder. And you are not enamored of protagonists who say they want to help lovers unite but take money for it, and also bungle the whole operation. 

Hmm. But Ayushmann Khurana leaning on Jitendra Kumar on the motorbike is cute. 

Woah! Kartik throws a tantrum wanting to attend Aman’s sister’s wedding. Aman gives in because they sleep on a train then run (still in the toothpaste superman suits) to the train to Allahabad. Do they not have a home? What happened to the mobike bhumi pednekar appropriated?

Such a horrible pair, they are shown bickering all through the movie. There are angry glares, but no looking longingly at the person you love, nothing redeeming about their love. They even discuss how Aman is ‘not wholly in’ the kiss or whatever… 

Why should the audience care what happens to these two?

Sonam Kapoor – whom everyone disses for being unable to act because she’s a pretty face – did a hundred per cent better job in her ‘coming out’ film Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga… You liked both the girls in the film, their relationship and hated Rajkummar Rao for outing them in public the way he does in the film…

Bollywood Small Town Is Nuts

There will be Mother and Father and chacha and chachi and neighbours and one annoying relative (possibly old grandma who coughs, or a dead grandpa, and in this film, a lad with an ipad).

The gas in the kitchen will always have tea boiling away and people will drink tea.

If they eat, god forbid they should have manners. Everyone will eat as if food was meant to be eaten noisily. And there will be Jalebi.

And to annoy the intelligent audience and to get laughter from the cheap seats, there will be the ghastly burp after eating.

Bodily functions like pooping and peeing will be shown generously. And the bathing with buckets. I try to not puke into my neighbor’s popcorn when i see toothbrushes in mouths. 

Such a horrid surprise to see Neena Gupta and Gajraj Rao play full on Nautanki parents. Manu Rishi and Sunita Rajwar who play Chacha and Chachi are less OTT. (The half star for this film is shared by the two.) 

Maanvi Gagroo is a relief because she really looks like she’s having fun. But they should have given her gold lines goggles for the wedding, no?

And the scene where Gajraj Rao pretends to kill himself: Neena Gupta should have given any one of the sarees in the cupboard in the room instead of taking off the ‘new shaadi ki saree’ no?

When men write these supposedly funny scenes, they forget to put themselves in a woman’s place! Neena Gupta would have given him the sheet on the bed to make a noose instead, no?

Ghanta Promoting A Gay Narrative

Maaf karo! If this is how you want to help the gay cause, I am sure the community might not want it. 

First Bollywood need to get over the fact that gay men DO NOT LOOK LIKE BOLLYWOOD’S IDEA of gay men. They don’t always have floppy wrists, neither do they wear nose rings.

And members of the LGBTQ+ community DO NOT WANDER ABOUT WITH A RAINBOW FLAG EVERYWHERE THEY TRAVEL. 

I am sure gay men do not feel the need to be overly demonstrative (read ‘act despo’) all the time. If nothing, Netflix has a teenage show that deals with gay kids in a smarter way than this film does. The show is called Sex Education’ and it deals with teens with hormones. 

It’s a lame excuse to say this movie is pathbreaking because it is challenging/breaking the patriarchal system. Patriarchy is like Sairat. It uses guns. 

Even the lame Sooryavamsham got patriarchy right. Here Gajraj Rao just comes across as sham, not once talking about his vansh…

The film promotions said that the writer-director wrote the script for over a year. The audience could have waited longer for him to get this script right. 




P.S. When people start selling you the film as if it was going to do ‘uddhar’ of a community that didn’t have a voice so far, I’m sure the people from the LGBTQ+ community would rather wait for real tales than this gaudy, loud movie.

   







     

Review: Love Aaj Kal


Love Be Akal

0 stars

Mini Review:

The owner of a bar cum co-working space guides a young couple who have mixed feelings about love by narrating his own story of lost love. He tries hard to say that young people in love in the 90s had the same trouble of choosing between career or marriage that young people have today. Today? Thousands of people balance both rather well and with much less than the protagonists. The original film made by the same director had some heart. This film is so oxygen deprived the narrative is as tiresome as it is brainless. 

Main Review:

Poor Randeep Hooda is given the role of the bar owner who once chose career over love and hand holds Sara Ali Khan and Kartik Aryan who play two young lovers. The two Zoey and Veer can’t seem to keep their hands off one another but stop right before they make love. Why? Not because ‘Sanskaar’ but because Veer wants ‘andar wali Zoey, bahar wali Zoey, career wali Zoey, roti banane wali Zoey…’ 

My brain froze there. These kids have not heard of Zomato? Young men still want their wives to make rotis? Young people today are more likely to order in, watch Netflix and never worry about career or love. Young men today are happy to move cities if their girl has a better job and then worry about finding one themselves, esp because Kartik Aryan is supposed to be a software programmer, something that does not need him to stay in a particular city. 

It’s just shoddy writing and poorly thought out story. Which generation is the filmmaker talking about? It’s worse because the original film had defined their career options better.

The story goes back and forth in the past as Randeep Hooda tells his story. It’s a time where QSQT plays in the theater, but Udaipur seems to be in the 30s or 70s or something because it is sepia toned. Why? Style? Seems needless. Then Kartik Aryan keeps spreading his arms like Shah Rukh, but the director forgot that Shah Rukh in the 90s was all about body suits/scuba gear type Polo jerseys. Why is Kartik Aryan made to wear strange coat collar bush shirts, only the designer knows. Even Raj Kapoor was better dressed in the movies of his time. It was certainly not the 90s. (Why they don’t refer to the gentleman’s guide to 100 years of fashion, no one knows.)

Why Bollywood, Why?

Why do men/women who have lost in love go to the Himalayas?

Why does Kartik Aryan pout so much? Why does he not have a hair person combing his hair? (bed head is fine, but…)

Why does Kartik Aryan work at a dam when he says he’s a software programmer hired by a water sustainability project?

Why do people always clutch their glass of tea with both hands in the mountains? 

Why does Kartik Aryan have to take his girl to meet parents when he does not live with them? Why do we never know why? Just like the two live separate lives in one home, couldn’t Kartik Aryan live with them? This just doesn’t compute…

This Love Doesn’t Compute. Actually.

Why make a bad version of a film people have already seen? Lack of new stories? Let’s say I have not seen the earlier version. Even then the story goes all over the place and you cringe when you hear: Oho! You can ‘feeeel’ (good, he means) even when the girl is not there?

Ugh. I just hope Kartik Aryan did not mean what the words said. I hope Imtiaz Ali does not now remake Jab We Met or something. Someone tell him: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.



P.S. A young couple attempting to romance one another (the movie releases on Valentine’s Day, after all) sitting next to me at the FDFS fell asleep during the movie, holding hands. 

    

Review: Love Aaj Kal


Love Be Akal

0 stars

Mini Review:

The owner of a bar cum co-working space guides a young couple who have mixed feelings about love by narrating his own story of lost love. He tries hard to say that young people in love in the 90s had the same trouble of choosing between career or marriage that young people have today. Today? Thousands of people balance both rather well and with much less than the protagonists. The original film made by the same director had some heart. This film is so oxygen deprived the narrative is as tiresome as it is brainless. 

Main Review:

Poor Randeep Hooda is given the role of the bar owner who once chose career over love and hand holds Sara Ali Khan and Kartik Aryan who play two young lovers. The two Zoey and Veer can’t seem to keep their hands off one another but stop right before they make love. Why? Not because ‘Sanskaar’ but because Veer wants ‘andar wali Zoey, bahar wali Zoey, career wali Zoey, roti banane wali Zoey…’ 

My brain froze there. These kids have not heard of Zomato? Young men still want their wives to make rotis? Young people today are more likely to order in, watch Netflix and never worry about career or love. Young men today are happy to move cities if their girl has a better job and then worry about finding one themselves, esp because Kartik Aryan is supposed to be a software programmer, something that does not need him to stay in a particular city. 

It’s just shoddy writing and poorly thought out story. Which generation is the filmmaker talking about? It’s worse because the original film had defined their career options better.

The story goes back and forth in the past as Randeep Hooda tells his story. It’s a time where QSQT plays in the theater, but Udaipur seems to be in the 30s or 70s or something because it is sepia toned. Why? Style? Seems needless. Then Kartik Aryan keeps spreading his arms like Shah Rukh, but the director forgot that Shah Rukh in the 90s was all about body suits/scuba gear type Polo jerseys. Why is Kartik Aryan made to wear strange coat collar bush shirts, only the designer knows. Even Raj Kapoor was better dressed in the movies of his time. It was certainly not the 90s. (Why they don’t refer to the gentleman’s guide to 100 years of fashion, no one knows.)

Why Bollywood, Why?

Why do men/women who have lost in love go to the Himalayas?

Why does Kartik Aryan pout so much? Why does he not have a hair person combing his hair? (bed head is fine, but…)

Why does Kartik Aryan work at a dam when he says he’s a software programmer hired by a water sustainability project?

Why do people always clutch their glass of tea with both hands in the mountains? 

Why does Kartik Aryan have to take his girl to meet parents when he does not live with them? Why do we never know why? Just like the two live separate lives in one home, couldn’t Kartik Aryan live with them? This just doesn’t compute…

This Love Doesn’t Compute. Actually.

Why make a bad version of a film people have already seen? Lack of new stories? Let’s say I have not seen the earlier version. Even then the story goes all over the place and you cringe when you hear: Oho! You can ‘feeeel’ (good, he means) even when the girl is not there?

Ugh. I just hope Kartik Aryan did not mean what the words said. I hope Imtiaz Ali does not now remake Jab We Met or something. Someone tell him: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.



P.S. A young couple attempting to romance one another (the movie releases on Valentine’s Day, after all) sitting next to me at the FDFS fell asleep during the movie, holding hands. 

    

izmir escort
istanbul escort ilanlari istanbul escort istanbul escort bayanlarla sevgili tadinda etkilesimler. istanbul escort bayanlar istanbul escort istanbul escort hizmeti icin ideal web sitesi.