Not Qualified For Anything? Become A Bollywood Star!
An arts graduate needs to prove to her father that marriage isn’t everything and she moves to Bombay. She meets really nice people who help her find her feet in modeling, tv and films. But she’s not good at anything. And neither is she willing to work hard. Soon reality catches up with her. The premise is good, but the film goes all over the place.
Have you ever found a bunch of wires and phone chargers entangled so much that it is a smarter decision to simply throw it all away than try and un-entangle it? Well, this film is somewhat like the jumbled up wires. Instead of watching the plot points come together as a story, you don’t know why all characters fall apart one by one.
Kritika Sachdeva plays Neha from Bhopal who has graduated in English Literature, and her stern dad (Saurabh Dubey) wants her to get married to an NRI groom. But Neha is wary of marriage because her sister’s is broken and she lives with her child at home. The mother does not have much of a role except make tea for the husband. It’s a well-to-do family, and they let Neha go to Bombay, the city of dreams, to figure out what she wants to do in her life.
A real-estate chap Vijay (played by Sasho), brings her to a plush apartment, saying, ‘This is temporary’. He asks her where she works. Neha laughs and replies, ‘I’m not qualified for anything!’
That laugh shows up in many more inappropriate scenes. Vijay is an optimist. He says, ‘You are beautiful. You could be a model or an actress. Many people come to Bombay and get a break if they work hard.’
He introduces Neha to Manorama, a cigarette-smoking (their moralistic characterization) lady who indulges in casting-couch tactics with young men and ‘introduces’ young women to sleazy producers and rich men.
Neha takes a liking to a smart young man (Aarav Chowdhary) who has been a model and an actor, and says he will help her if she worked hard. She gets a commercial thanks to his recommendation, but turns out that she just cannot pronounce a simple word like ‘Tvacha’ (skin) right. She loses the chance here.
Neha begins to take a romantic interest in Aarav and then she and Manorama laugh hysterically because he turns out to be gay. And before you wonder why they would laugh or why his character had to be gay, you are dragged through a rich man (Indraneil Sengupta) who falls for her, decides to cast her first in a TV show where she is a disaster, and then in a movie, where she is happier seducing him (in a sports bra! Bleaaarghh!) than working. When he asks her why she’s not working hard, she just behaves like she’s some diva.
The audience is so befuddled, they wonder why she’s so entitled. Suddenly from the sleazy casting couch lady, Manorama turns out to be a reluctant mother who could be suffering from a cyst, and turns into an almost servant to Neha, living in her home, being treated like trash by Neha.
Oh yes, there is copious amounts of alcohol being consumed because life is so unfair, and daddy keep saying, ‘Disgusting!’ with every loss of face he suffers as their neighbors comment on Neha’s life. You facepalm when you see Neha get married to the seemingly decent Vijay one drunken night and Vijay then turns out to be a psycho. Wait, what? Is the story changing? It’s over two hours, and you are happy when the psycho slaps her hard. When the camera shows you a bottle of drainex in the corner prominently, you know how the film will end.
(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)