Tiresome Nostalgia Trip
Why is it that men cannot get over ‘hostel life’? Kya dost thay, yaar! Kya din thay! And it’s bleddy annoying because these films come at you again and again in the form of Hyderabad Blues, Rockford Files, Faaltu, Dil Chahta Hai, 3 Idiots… Same chaddi buddies thing all over again…
The movie begins with Varun Sharma in his chaddis.
Not fat shaming, but this is hardly something you’d want to see at ten in the morning! (Mera FDFS wala problem hai!) But it got me mad thinking how much achiever dads expect out of kids. Very obviously these guys have not read Harry Potter’s Cursed Child because they’re still living the dream all Indian dads dream: My son will go to my college and live my life.
Of course Sushant Singh Rajput’s son cannot deal with the burden of his expectations and…
Bleddy, dad has to then rope in his hostel guys to save his child. They have cute names: Sexa, Acid, Derek The Baap, Bevda, Mummy…
Of course they are stereotypical friends: the oversexed one, the drunk, the sporty one, the mama’s boy and of course the hero who gets the girl.
The girl is Shraddha Kapoor in curls. Looks quite nice, and says mean things to husband quite nicely. But then, she has the role of a girl in engineering college. Not exactly Hermione there…
But she loves her son and makes bhindi ki subzi for him. She’s also engineer like her husband, but son goes to her house for food, not math.
The hostel stories are so tired, even good writing brings not any lump to the throat. You can see manipulative writing a mile away: Usme itna acid bhara tha… (goodlooking lad this Navin Polishetty)
The story they’re telling the child in the hospital is so unoriginal, I’m sure if I were that kid listening to these stories, I’d want to pull my life support off all by myself when hearing about ‘being losers’.
But when all seems to be lost, Sushant Singh spouts off a line I have yet to hear a dad say in Hindi cinema:
‘We are prepared for successes, but never for failure.’
That shook me up. Could there be something to this movie after all. Perhaps the four stars other reviewers have chipkaoed on this film is jaayaz…
But Prateik Babbar happens. And there’s a Student Of The Year type challenge shield that will help this bunch of losers prove that they are not that. I facepalmed so hard, it resounded in the theater populated not too well with older Bandra folk. I pretended that it was my umbrella falling down…
And just like Lagaan we watch the ‘losers’ take on the Maradona of Hostel 3 in football. They win by taking the fall like real footballers to send the competition off the field and other Tikdams. You wonder why Shraddha Kapoor does not dump this guy the moment Varun Sharma tells her ‘Usne tumhe daanv pe laga diya. (because you are his dearest thing!).
Of course daddy-o and his now cool pals suddenly look like winners and child wants to be like dad again… I cannot pretend I hated it completely, but dammit… kuch toh original hota! I mean Legally Blonde had more original writing than this pathetic nostalgia trip!
The clothes retrofitted on the bunch are very, very well done. Thankfully there are no songs to annoy us, a couple of funny moments (Varun Sharma’s gladiator skirt falling off on stage, the canteen guy pretending to be Kabaddi coach) are funny in passing, but they get cancelled out because the other ‘funny’ moments are used undies being put on another person’s face. Ugh!
I know two things for sure:
One. Never, never ever sign up for a class reunion.
Run far, far away when men begin to talk about ‘Woh bhi kya din thay, yaar?!’