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Review: MARJAAVAAN


Starting With Riteish Deshmukh’s Vishnu, 
There’s Not A Single Original Thought In This Film.

Rating: Stabbing yourself is more entertaining

Mini Review:

They paid the screenwriters so much they had the gangsters on verbal vomit mode all through the film! And not just gangsters, the heroine (who speaks through a friend), the hero, the hero’s friends, the cops… AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHH! They retain the audience by getting them to fall asleep. I started counting unoriginal stuff coming at us and then gave up. 

Main Review:

Hero has an Amitabh Bachchan hangover, right from fighting the baddies and the ambulance bit (choreographed here because he brings a first aid box to a fight) to the matchstick in the mouth. 

Then we gag when the great Nasser who is big bad guy Anna who gives us the Laawaris spiel. But his name is not Heera after the dog, but Raghu. I hear Kamala Haasan’s voice in my head saying, ‘aappdiyaa!’ 

Yes, there’s a nautch girl (Rakul Preet Singh) who is in love with the hero. Hardly original that. And the songs she sings are so not new you don’t really care if the name of the bar is Dilbar.

but as the song goes ek toh kam zindagani is wrong! This film goes on and on and on… and a dumb but not deaf (apologies for not being politically correct here) girl from Kashmir whose name is Zoya and she wants to take talented kids to Kashmir for a song contest (aaaaaaaargh Riteish Deshmuskh did not tell the writers about Banjo the film!). 

The film is so lazy, they show close ups of Siddharth Malhotra’s hands which are so well cared for, they don’t have a trace of a hard life. 

Poor Siddharth Malhotra! he is made to wear a leather jacket in Bombay heat, but I guess it is handy to ward off a pathetic Molotov cocktail that is barely effective. What kind of stupid goons are these?

There’s Tara Sutaria who plays Zoya who wants to change the future of the basti kids with music. Move over Gully Boy and Banjo we choose kids because they eve tease other kids. Ugh! And the Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram is poor man’s version of Rani Mukerjee in a short dress singing Om Jai Jagdeesh Hare. Original my…

Poor Ravi Kissen is reduced to spouting crap like ‘Hamare Bihaar mein ek kahavat hai…’ 

The only thing good about this movie is Vishnu, the dwarf son of the big bad guy who is jealous of Raghu’s loyalty to his dad. Riteish Deshmukh plays Vishnu really well but they gave him so much dialog, the menace is reduced. And yes, none of us have seen Game Of Thrones to know where the idea must have germinated, no?

The final fight (Wow! So new!) goes on and on until we begin collecting our things (including a shoe I almost threw at the screen seeing that very tired idea of sending goons to kill a hero who has been incarcerated). Then the villain and the henchmen and the hero die. But not before dead heroine shows up to give the hero darshan… Rani Mukherji outdid that in DDLJ like a hundred years ago,no?

Last cry for help: Grammar check dialog, please! it is not ‘Is dusshehra ka din’ but ‘Is dusshehre ke din…’






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