Review: MISSING


MISSING nahi MISTAKE


Zero stars


Mini Review:


Sushant Dubey and Aparna Dubey check into a Mauritian
resort late night with their very unwell daughter Titli. By the
morning, the child is missing. Everything literally begins to
unravel as you watch cringeworthy hamming from greats like
Tabu and Manoj Bajpayee. To add to the mess Annu Kapoor
shows up as a cop overacting as always.

It’s been touted as a ‘murder-mystery’, because they
murdered cinema and it will be a mystery why these good
actors chose to ‘act’ in this film.


Main Review:


What a great cast! Manoj Bajpayee and Tabu! You don’t want to
remember their earlier films together which were nothing but d
isastrous: Gaath and Dil Pe Mat le Yaar (both released in the
year 2000). Unfortunately, this time too the duo simply fails to
deliver.


How they ham! Sushant Dubey (Manoj Bajpayee) tries really
hard to be sleazy to the receptionist at the hotel, staring at her
cleavage. He just does such a terrible job of it, and looks so
uncomfortable saying things like, ‘My wife and daughter will
leave in the morning, do you think I will need a single room?’


Aparna Dubey (Tabu) is made to carry a blanket stuffed with
pillows that does not remotely look like a child. Effort from the
production team is zilch. Movies of the seventies and eighties
made more effort when they showed bodies going over a cliff
than shown here. It’s obvious that there is no child.


You don’t even wish to groan about very obvious inaccuracies:
the child is three years old, and Tabu is carrying baby diapers for
her, and you are alarmed at the pills! Most pediatricians prescribe
syrups to babies and toddlers and not pills!


There is a brief moment where you are forced to watch a
love-making scene between the Dubeys and you know they are
unhappy doing what they are made to do. Thankfully their roll in
the bed is fuzzed out of focus.


The child is missing by the morning. We discover many things
about Sushant and Tabu and how they met. What you don’t
understand are Tabu’s motives for anything she does and
Sushant’s either. If your met someone, and they carried a meat
chopper in a baby’s diaper bag, you would put as much distance
between you as it was possible, no? Maybe that is the mystery.


Alas, it is for Inspector Buddhu (Annu Kapoor who was last seen
hamming it in Baaa Baa Black Sheep) and his Tweedledee and
Tweedledum cop duo assistants who have to solve the mystery
of the missing kid. Their supposed Shenanigans are so tedious,
you are too exhausted to ask the writer director how he managed
to sell such tiresomeness to the production house?


Perhaps Tabu’s face has undergone some reengineering (the
stars are in the business of looking good, so we’re not
complaining!) and that is why she looks odd initially, but then
everything she says is either shrill or vapid, you begin to look out
for scenes with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. You also ignore
the red light on Tabu’s microphone showing from the back pocket
of her jeans, the production quality is that terrible.


Of course, not one police officer bothers to check or even
confiscate Manoj Bajpayee’s cell phone to corroborate the stories
he’s telling. The background music tries really hard to create
some sort of ambience but ends up being super annoying. Even
worse is Annu Kapoor speaking Hindi in a Bihari accent and even
speaking French (so grating to the ears!) to prove that he is
indeed Mauritian.


When the final reveal happens, you are just too bored to react.
You want to curse in French at the movie:
C’est vraiment des conneries!      

(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)

Posted in Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Review: MISSING


MISSING nahi MISTAKE


Zero stars


Mini Review:


Sushant Dubey and Aparna Dubey check into a Mauritian
resort late night with their very unwell daughter Titli. By the
morning, the child is missing. Everything literally begins to
unravel as you watch cringeworthy hamming from greats like
Tabu and Manoj Bajpayee. To add to the mess Annu Kapoor
shows up as a cop overacting as always.

It’s been touted as a ‘murder-mystery’, because they
murdered cinema and it will be a mystery why these good
actors chose to ‘act’ in this film.


Main Review:


What a great cast! Manoj Bajpayee and Tabu! You don’t want to
remember their earlier films together which were nothing but d
isastrous: Gaath and Dil Pe Mat le Yaar (both released in the
year 2000). Unfortunately, this time too the duo simply fails to
deliver.


How they ham! Sushant Dubey (Manoj Bajpayee) tries really
hard to be sleazy to the receptionist at the hotel, staring at her
cleavage. He just does such a terrible job of it, and looks so
uncomfortable saying things like, ‘My wife and daughter will
leave in the morning, do you think I will need a single room?’


Aparna Dubey (Tabu) is made to carry a blanket stuffed with
pillows that does not remotely look like a child. Effort from the
production team is zilch. Movies of the seventies and eighties
made more effort when they showed bodies going over a cliff
than shown here. It’s obvious that there is no child.


You don’t even wish to groan about very obvious inaccuracies:
the child is three years old, and Tabu is carrying baby diapers for
her, and you are alarmed at the pills! Most pediatricians prescribe
syrups to babies and toddlers and not pills!


There is a brief moment where you are forced to watch a
love-making scene between the Dubeys and you know they are
unhappy doing what they are made to do. Thankfully their roll in
the bed is fuzzed out of focus.


The child is missing by the morning. We discover many things
about Sushant and Tabu and how they met. What you don’t
understand are Tabu’s motives for anything she does and
Sushant’s either. If your met someone, and they carried a meat
chopper in a baby’s diaper bag, you would put as much distance
between you as it was possible, no? Maybe that is the mystery.


Alas, it is for Inspector Buddhu (Annu Kapoor who was last seen
hamming it in Baaa Baa Black Sheep) and his Tweedledee and
Tweedledum cop duo assistants who have to solve the mystery
of the missing kid. Their supposed Shenanigans are so tedious,
you are too exhausted to ask the writer director how he managed
to sell such tiresomeness to the production house?


Perhaps Tabu’s face has undergone some reengineering (the
stars are in the business of looking good, so we’re not
complaining!) and that is why she looks odd initially, but then
everything she says is either shrill or vapid, you begin to look out
for scenes with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. You also ignore
the red light on Tabu’s microphone showing from the back pocket
of her jeans, the production quality is that terrible.


Of course, not one police officer bothers to check or even
confiscate Manoj Bajpayee’s cell phone to corroborate the stories
he’s telling. The background music tries really hard to create
some sort of ambience but ends up being super annoying. Even
worse is Annu Kapoor speaking Hindi in a Bihari accent and even
speaking French (so grating to the ears!) to prove that he is
indeed Mauritian.


When the final reveal happens, you are just too bored to react.
You want to curse in French at the movie:
C’est vraiment des conneries!      

(this review appears on nowrunning dot com)

Posted in Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

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