Review: Shimla Mirch

Blechh! Barf! Overcooked! Off Putting Romance! Hurl! 

0.5 stars

Mini Review:

Rajkummar Rao fancies himself Shah Rukh Khan and fails so bad you wish he’d take out a gun and be the terrorist from Omerta and shoot everyone in the movie. It would help the audience not watch Hema Malini in a ghastly desperate woman role, or the pretty Rakul Preet Singh being pretty vapid… Such an awful film! 

Main Review:

She’s not hot at all, no matter how much of her navel we get to gaze at all through the movie. The pretty Rakul Preet Singh gets a role that a young Hema Malini could have carried off in Sholay a hundred years ago: pretty girl, quick to anger, hence Mirchi.

She opens a cafe that looks more like a party shop than any cafe (watering cans, water bottles, fancy cupcake paper, party cups are on the sale shelf behind the cafe counter). There’s no food, no customers, but the Captain Uncle who’s helping her with the cafe keeps replacing jars of perishable foods on the cafe billing counter. If the cafe is not yet open, what accounts are you maintaining? On the black board a frappe is listed under ‘hot beverage’ and Turkish coffee that is usually served hot is listed under ‘cold beverage’…

Why do I spot these useless things? Because the setting is so pointless and ill thought. They could have opened a dhaba and it would still not changed anything with the story. 

So Rajkummar Rao becomes Raj Kuthrapalli from The Big Bang Theory – tongue tied in front of a girl. So when cupid’s arrow LITERALLY hits him (you cannot miss it because he sings a song about it), he chooses to work at Rakul Preet Singh’s fake cafe, to be near her. So they walk all over Shimla becoming friends. And a friend of Rajkummar Rao gives him an idea: write her a love letter. He does, signing it ‘secret admirer’.

Now Rakul Preet Singh has a mom in the form of Hema Malini, who is so desperate for her husband (Kanwaljeet Singh) who has left her for a younger woman, that she not only cooks on her husband’s birthday, but also climbs a tree near his home to get a glimpse. Of course she falls off the tree… And we wonder why we are watching this…

I would rather forget Rakhummar Rao trying to prove he is better than Shah Rukh at romancing! he looks more like a stalker than like a lovelorn lad. Getting advice from ‘Aaaooo Lalita’ Captain Uncle (Shakti Kapoor) does not help.

Rakul loves her batty mommy and in order to distract her from trolling dad, retypes the ‘secret admirer’ letter and sends it her mom. Mom suddenly is thrilled and begins preening and even gets a makeover in order to meet her ‘admirer’. But that’s not bad at all. Except that she gets battier: she tales the letter to all kinds of men in Shimla asking them if they wrote the letter. This gives the director Ramesh Sippy to appear in a cameo as one of the men…

Of course Rajkummar Rao ends up delivering the second ‘love letter’ and Hema Malini promptly falls in love with him. Rakul requests Rajkummar to pretend he loves mommy back…

Rest is so ghastly, you wish there was a bar you could rush to instead of barfing into your popcorn. You are gagging by the time Rajkummar Rao gets to kiss Rakul Preet Singh in front of his and her family. That’s a sight I could have done without. 

Dharmendra also gets to show up reminding us and Hemaji that she’s still hot and he loves her. That appearance wins the half star this film deserves. 


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