Written by Manisha Lakhe on August 4, 2017
Sejal Ko Jhelna Mushkil Hee Nahi, Namumkin Hai!
Harry Is Saved By His Midriff.
Harinder Nehra aka Harry is a tour guide for Indians in Europe. One his rich tourists has lost an engagement ring and she wants to retrace her steps to find it. Her name is Sejal. The plot of the film is just like the ring: lost. And not even Shah Rukh Khan can save this pointless jaunt through Europe.
Not BUDAPEST again!
The makers of Rabta thought taking their film to Budapest would save their ridiculous plot about reincarnation. Imtiaz Ali thinks Budapest is going to save this ‘Desperate Gujju woman seeks lost ring by paying Tour Guide then falls in love with him’. Alas, his hopes are going to be dashed.
And no matter how many time lapse shots of the ‘foreign location’ are there, the audience wants content. I am personally horrified that these stupid films have ruled out Budapest as a tourist destination for us Indians! The locals probably think Indians are illegal immigrants (thanks to all the stupid scenes with Chandan Roy Sanyal and his stupid gang which are obviously shot here and not Portugal), or we’re the types to start yelling early in the morning because we’re missing tractor sounds and Punjab! Also we sing and dance and local people join in.
Our Trash In Europe
Yah! Like we Indians need to see a cute map telling us how two stupid Indians are off to search for a diamond ring. It’s a miracle they did not show a picture of ring to everyone they met (like we do when kids are kidnapped, or when they’re describing in pidgin English ‘ You saw this? You saw this?’). Not even Shah Rukh Khan can save this Euro (mein) trash. Anushka Sharma is cast as someone who is going to bride yet again (Remember Phillauri? She was ghost on tree who married some Manglik lad!). At least she had fun, floating about and was surrounded by stardust.
Aaj Phir Desperation Ki Tamanna Hai!
She has lost her engagement ring and is ready to pay Harry the Guide to help her retrace her steps. He goes with her reluctantly, but seriously, she could have done this on her own. She’s a capable lawyer and all for family business.
Seriously though, this film should annoy Gujarati folk who are business savvy people. They could have recreated the diamond ring with much better diamonds and for much less than let the daughter go traipsing around Europe in search of a ring. They could even age the ring appropriately.
Remember how Rosie escaped from her horrible marriage and made a break for it with Raju Guide? Here she’s not even living it up before she settles down with boring old Rupen. She’s just… Well… You don’t care!
‘High Hopes!’ she says to Harry who says she should not be wandering everywhere with him, but it is she who comes across as desperate. Following him into a night club, asking him if she were sexy… Unless she was thirteen and hormonal there is absolutely no excuse for her behaviour. Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met was so refreshing! She said, ‘Main apni favorite hoon’ and, ‘Ab toh mera haath chhod do, itni bhi sundar nahi hoon main’ and it suited her. Both Anushka and Shah Rukh needed a grown up script. Not this silly teenagerish, ‘Why are you sister-zoning me?’
‘Sit Ne!’ Nahi, You Want To Say, ‘BHAAAGO!’
Anushka Sharma speaks in this ghastly Gujarati accent which stereotypes her so much it grates on your nerves. You expect her to channelise her inner Daksha Virani (Ketaki Dave in Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi) and say, ‘Aa ra ra ra!’ every time she opens her mouth. It is supremely unattractive when they have to pretend to be ‘girlfriend-boyfriend’. Who are they kidding? If Sejal is just desperate to get laid before she starts a boring life with her boring Rupen, we would understand. But it is the pretense to innocence that is puke-worthy. No matter how much Shah Rukh says, ‘I’m a dirty old man!’, he doesn’t look it. He looks like he is made for romancing women, not use them and throw them.
So what’s there to like in this asinine film? Shah Rukh is still droolworthy. And he can still make you sigh. But then the bigger sighs are of despair. After the brilliant Raees, this looks like a pathetic excuse to holiday in Europe and ‘Chalo, let’s make some movie while we’re there!’
The last song and dance in Punjab ke khet sounded and looked fun, but by then we were hoping they stop making movies about people meeting. It’s not Meet Cute any more. It is Meet Raddad Che!
P.S. A gentler version of this review appears on nowrunning dot com